Day One. I can't articulate this, I am trying. I've erased many lines. But something has to come out. A deliverance of all this heartache. For years, I've been told if I don't change, he'd leave. For years, he tried. To change me with love, stability, kindness, effort. Thinking, if she finally felt these things,…
I remember
I remember this girl from long ago she could not see it she did not know that it would pass that time would show some things we want we can't control so a story emerged and she began to write of a boy and his love and the dark soul of nightI remember a time…
I Took A Magic Pill
With a deep breathe, focused, I meet it oncemore - a part of me, a season of this life - to reveal a part of the person I knew then. She and I, we are very different now, yet like a tattoo, she remains with me always. It was a time of great existential unrest.…
If I wrote about You.
I’d love to write about you, the way I once did. If I could write... My heart must have weakened, or else I’m just scared these words mean nothing, to face that is worse than being vulnerable. But you know me, I'm going to do it anyway. Made a medicine out of this pain, kicked…
A Great Transaction
I've lived two separate lives on this day... Driving home from taking Layla to school a tidal wave of emotion flooded me and writing is a way I know how to release it. Christina: Scene One. I guess to make this accurate, the first incarnation, I should be called Chrissy. If you had loved me…
What Anxiety Feels Like.
I haven’t a clue what will come of this, but I have to do something and writing usually helps. For the past few weeks, I’ve been grappling with the inevitability of my fate – an astute awareness that I will perish and leave my children to deal with life without me. Right now, inside my…
Let Me Be Love
If this was your last day on Earth, what would you do, who would you want most to spend your time with, what kind of person would you be? I am not certain why, but I’ve felt deep inside for awhile now that something is coming for me. For some reason, I keep feeling like it’ll be…
November 1st 2021
These walls confine me as my flesh traps spirit. Alone, in both space and time – all I have are words to pull this from my veins. I pray it is a start. Better than stuck. How much effort would you give to rip out the parts of yourself that keep you in hell? If…
Protected: I Endure.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Just Like A River Does
A part of me will always remain here. For the passing moments, oh maybe two hours or so, I've sat in silence, occasionally rambling down a cement pathway alongside the river. No music, no distractions save wandering thoughts, intentionally present yet too a thousand lives before and some I've yet to live. There is no…
Her Heart on the Outside 