Breathing and God

Driving to this island, I had a recurring vision: I’d meet a man. No, this isn’t what you’re thinking… I kept seeing myself talking to a tanned, bearded man who played a guitar and sat with me wherever I went. Flashes of me leaning my head on his shoulder, seeing his laugh, and hearing him…

A Very Transparent Prayer

I prayed to you this morning, Father. I pray it seems these days constantly, but my mind is also distracted by some of the shadows of my past, and I find myself frustrated with this – entirely exhausted and quite breathless – because I yearn for peace and rest. I yearn for it, like I…

4637 words about Tim

I’m going to time travel and remember….. I was a true-blue Vancouver stoner from a broken family, whose generational sin helped alter all our lives. I put no substance into relationships but instead chained myself to pot, both to escape the reality as it was and to embrace the culture around me. I was indulging…

The journey Forward

My nose is familiar with the scent here. The thick, humid, salty air that wraps exposed skin in sticky warmth; even in February, it is as if summer is right on my heels. I have yet to feel the sand between my toes or see the crashing Gulf of Mexico sea on the horizon, but…

The Truth in my Broken Spirit

I am failing. Every. Single. Day. My heart is not pure. My mind is worse. My flesh is torn with old scars and I have no problem slashing them open again and again with a knife of longing for something I lost. I have a quick-tempered tongue, and a wayward tendency to always want something…

This Day

I have been contemplating whether or not I was going to write today; anxiety answered for me, much to my intense dismay… I’ve been considering what is underneath this looming feeling of panic, and breathlessness, and given what day it is today, the acknowledgement and fault should go to my mother. The reason I don’t…

Marriage Sucks (…)

There is nothing quite like marriage to put a mirror to your face to show you exactly how bad you suck. We choose a mate and then pledge our lives to that person, through the good and the bad, in sickness and in health, until death do you part. I am sure so many marriages…

The Light

“I’ll give you everything I have, I’ll teach you everything I know…” They are growing, right in front of my eyes. Changing. Learning. Reaching closer to the sky with each passing day. I get to watch them, sometimes while the skin of their fingers touches my palm as we walk together, sometimes from afar as…

The Moments

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the moments of my life. The important things. The big things. The small, seemingly simple things… The way Delaney toddles on her cast because she needs to sneak in walking before we tell her to sit on her butt. She went from being a 9-month walking baby to…