We haven’t officially met but I know you better than anyone, and my voice is surely a comfort to you these days.
I do not know whether you will be my first son or my third daughter, whether you will have brown eyes like me or blue like your father’s, and I am not even sure what your name will be yet. But I know that I love you, my unborn child.
My belly is growing larger by the day – I am almost 34 weeks – and lately, it has been hard to catch my breath because of all this extra pressure against my lungs. My back aches, constantly, and when you move your head it hurts me but I promise you I don’t mind enough to be upset with about it. At this point, we have about 8 weeks until we meet… So the symptoms I feel now will likely increase until you are born.
I am doing everything I can to take care of myself so that you have the healthiest stay possible but these days I crave cheeseburgers, so I apologize for that – I try and throw in extra salad and fruit so you get all the nutrients you need, but sometimes, Mama just needs a cheeseburger! I blame this on you!
You have two older sisters whom are dying to meet you. They’re both convinced you’re a girl but we talk all the time about it, and I think we are all okay either way. Layla is six now, and Jemma is 3 – I think they’re going to be amazing big sisters for you, don’t you worry. We talk about them sharing their toys with you, and that Mama will need to spend some extra time with you when you are born, and I think they won’t be jealous of that – this is my hope for all our sakes.
You will love Layla because she is eager to take care of you. She’s been practicing putting a diaper on one of her stuffed animals, and she gets it dressed and talks about how she can’t wait to do this for you. I am sure she will smother you with kisses.
Jemma is still little, but I think she is ready for you – as much as she can be. She always kisses you through my belly – every single day. And she says she loves you. It really is the sweetest thing.
Your daddy is eager to meet you, also. He has been practicing with me what it will be like to go into labor – when we have you – and he is trying his best to take care of me. He says he can’t wait to meet you; you’re his first child, so this is a big deal for him! I really can’t wait to see him hold you for the first time and I promise you, he is going to cry!
Really, I think we all will because we are so excited to meet you.
I am preparing as much as I can to bring you into this world as safely and welcoming as possible. You will be born into my arms right here in our home, at least that is what we are planning for. Please know that I don’t mind that it will hurt, and I hope you tolerate your journey – this is something we have to do together, you and me – it is just us, really. So, try and believe me when I say I will do my best to keep you safe but I know the rest is up to God. He’s the one that gave you to us, and I pray He lets you come into this world in a peaceful, loving way. I am trying my best to prepare emotionally and physically for this because I love you and want to stay connected to you as much as possible until you’re in my arms.
I pray every day, well all the time it seems, that you are healthy and happy when we meet. That there aren’t any complications and that you breathe like you’ll need to when you first experience this world. It’ll be a challenge, I know little baby, but Mama knows you can do it!
The whole house is empty right now except for me. Your daddy is away for work, and your sisters went to spend some time with their dad, too, so it just me and you now. The house is quiet and I am laying in bed on my left side – this is not comfortable for me but it’s the best position for you so I will do it anyway. I can feel you kick and roll around every now and then, and I find great comfort in your movements these days. I wait for you every morning to move, and then throughout the day you probably feel me poking you – that’s just Mama checking to make sure you’re doing all right! So far, you have done very well, and I am so proud of how big you are growing – you’re getting bigger each day!
When the house is quiet like this, and it is just you and me, I miss the noise of your family around me. I miss having your sisters here to laugh with them and play our games, and I miss your dad here to rub my back when I need it – cause it seems I need it all the time these days. I have been sad today because I have felt very alone, and I don’t like when I have to say goodbye to your sisters… But, when it is just us, you and me, I kind of cherish that we don’t have distractions, and I can just sit here and dream of you. Thank God for you. Pray for you. You have made today a little easier, so thank you for that.
No matter what happens in your life, from here on out, I hope you know that you are wanted and so loved. I loved you before I even met you. I am sure, if you could tell me, you’d say the same. My sweet baby. . . I can’t wait to meet you.